Jesse and Kristy: The Blog

So I am not sure where to begin with this post... I guess I will make is somewhat brief, this is hard for me since I am a very detailed person (obviously)! A few years back me and my bestie got healthy, by God's grace and only because of Him. I lost 30 lbs ish(at one time I had lost 45 lbs from my heaviest) and was not eating fast food and was working out. I was feeling great! Healthy Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually! It was wonderful...then.... life happened....I got busy....I got burdened....I got stressed...I got UNFOCUSED... My eyes were focused on Christ and therefore everything suffered... Whenever I would get back to being focused on God and His Truth i would be healthy mentally and spiritually but the physical has lacked....Now to be a little gracious to myself, I did have two babies and my hormones were crazy....BUT still no reason for me to be only 20 lbs from the heaviest I have ever been...needless to say, without even talking about my weight, I feel so unhealthy...my self control has lacked...I have been lazy and completely led by my feelings (that is a BIG problem in my life)...I sometimes wish my feelings would just stop so I could be logical! This all being said, Jesse and I are starting The Daniel Fast http://danielfast.wordpress.com/ I am not sure how long we are sticking to the strict plan, just doing as God tells us! I know this will be hard but so excited for the outcome and so thankful for Jesse (this was his idea!!)

let me start by saying this blog will be personal so please be aware of that fact :)
Lately...well for a while I have been "struggling" with being complacent/lazy with Jesus...I have decided to just allow whatever God wants to do in my life to randomly happen...with me not seeking Him out or putting forth effort...I feel like I sit and wait for God to completely change me and to send people in my life to help with that process yet I sit in my complacency and do nothing...I don't try to go make friends/build relationships, I don't try to reach out and love on the people that I am blessed enough to be surrounded by, i don't call and check on those that I know are hurting (sure, I think about them but nothing further), I do nothing for God's glory yet i sit and ask Him why He isn't speaking? Why I feel far from Him? I am sure He is saying things and I am so self absorbed to realize that...
This brings me to my next point...
i hate that my sin/rebellion doesn't only hurt me and my relationship with Jesus but it effects the people around me....those i am short with, those i don't show mercy to, those i judge, those that see my temper and hear my negative words, those that mimic me and are mimicing a woman i didn't think i could ever be again after meeting Jesus, I hate that my sin of laziness effects Jesse, Rae, Kennedy, and all the people I have a relationship with...even people at Walmart or any other store I walk into...
When we moved to NC I had such hope for what God could do and such faith that He would do it, then I started focusing on me...on what others thought...on my needs/wants/desires...stupid stuff like that! I know God has so much more for me...I know He wants me to have Joy and Hope...I know He is my God and He is good! He always hears my cry and I know he hears the recent cries of my heart! I know He loves me and will never leave me nor forsake me YET I have allowed myself to get so caught up in myself that I couldn't see the Truth...
Today I have decidded to choose Truth, to choose to get up and be involved in life again...to die to self...to come back to my Dad who loves me so much :)

Well I am sitting in my living room while our precious daughter takes a nap and waiting for photos to upload onto facebook so i figured it was perfect timing for a blog :)

so not much is happening in our lives right now...well at least from the outside not much is happening but God is doing a bunch of stuff!

At the moment we are praying about moving...NC! We are excited but just so unsure...You know when you know God wants you to do something but the when and where are not told to you yet, do you know how that feels? it feels like you have absolutely NO control! The only option in our life at the moment is FAITH! TRUST ME! That's what I know God is continuously telling our family...well at least ME! ME, the doubter...of course He would do this in our life! WE NEED IT! We desperately need it! I question all things until I know it for sure is real...then I question more. If you know me, the real me, at all you know how I analyze EVERYTHING to death!(that is a whole other problem)...anyway, I am excited that He has been doing this in our lives! I mean at one point we were unsure how we were going to pay for Raegan's formula and we checked the mail and there was a free container that enfamil sent us! I mean for real! I don't say that to say we are so poor we need help, I say that to glorify God! I mean He has ALWAYS provided for us! so what if we don't have the nicest house, we have an apt that fits us just fine! So what if our vehicles aren't new...they run!! (and when they don't God provides a way to fix it!) I feel like for so long I lived expecting to be blessed with the best of everything...I don't deserve that and whatever I do get IS a BLESSING!!!

Well I say all of this to say that God is so faithful! No matter what we have every needed he has provided! No matter where we are He gives us hope! I mean you don't feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you are broke and have no idea how you are going to pay your bills but somehow, someway, God ALWAYS provides!!!

Matthew 6:25-27 (Amplified Bible)

25Therefore I tell you, stop being [a]perpetually uneasy (anxious and worried) about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink; or about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life greater [in quality] than food, and the body [far above and more excellent] than clothing?

26Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they?

27And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the [b]span of his life?(A)

so I now am back to being able to get online and more importantly get involved with other people's lives!

I didn't realize how much facebook and blogs allowed me to stay connected with everyone. I for real cried seeing some of the stuff online on people's pages because I didn't know what was happening with people. i hate that! i need to make more of an effort with people! that is what I learned from this if nothing else...

Needless to say, I am thrilled to be back! I have missed all of my friends so much!

want to know how AMAZING God is?
Here's the story:
Last night I lost my wallet in Dothan...I think I left it on the top of my car (because I was hungry and all I kept thinking about was the frosted animal crackers I had just bought) and it flew off at some point between the Dollar Tree and Southeast Hospital...I went back after visiting the precious little girl, Rylan, and retraced my steps and couldn't find it anywhere...the lady in the store said I didn't leave it there...needless to say I thought I had lost my drivers license and Social security card :( I was pretty worried! I mean we already have bad credit I don't need anyone else helping me out with that, and now I just lost my stuff which means is some person got it could pretty much steal my identity!!!
After no luck finding it I decided to head to G-ville for dinner at Tampicos. On the way home I talked to Jesus about what had just happened and freaked out for a few minutes (crying was involved). Then I just calmed down, realized it was out of my control and I would have to deal with the consequences of my actions.
This morning I woke up and read a chapter in Ecc. One verse mentions how where a tree falls it will lie, which I took as meaning things happen and life goes on...you gotta get past it and keep truckin :) Encouraging!
An hour or so later I receive a call from Student Services @ BCF where my friend PJ works and I used to attend school. It was Mrs. Rosie who went on to ask me if I had lost my wallet in Dothan last night. I replied, YES!! She went on to tell me a story of how Mr. Parker from the college is preaching at a church in Dothan and a lady that goes to the church found my wallet and asked him about it and to see if he could find me. Then Mrs. Rosie had it and PJ had my number she called me and on top of that the lady works In Marianna across the street from Jesse!! HOW AWESOME IS JESUS?!?!!!
Oh the grace He has on me and my forgetfulness!

so i haven't written a blog in a while so here goes what is happening in my life...

lately the subject of Faith has been all in my life! It started with Jesus putting a stir in my heart about this and I wasn't exactly sure what was going on. Then my friend Lee said a quote from the book Crazy Love...He said

"What are you doing in your life that requires Faith?"

That is the question I have been pondering in my life the last few weeks...sadly, I have decided the answer is nothing/not much... I have also decided that I don't want it to stay that way!

(PS this whole time me and Jesse have also been praying about a pretty big decision in our lives that, either way, will require faith)

So this past weekend we took a few youth to a beach retreat. It was AMAZING!!!!! There was a whole message focused on not staying comfortable but taking risks!

Here are a few of the amazing quotes/stories that were mentioned that made my heart happy:

"If there is no risk, then there is no need for faith."

When James Calvert went out as a missionary to the cannibals of the Fiji Islands, the ship captain tried to turn him back. "You will lose your life and the lives of those with you if you go among such savages, he cried. To that, Calvert replied, "We died before we came here."

When the titanic had hit the iceberg there was a boat near there that heard the distress signal but did nothing. Later, when asked why he did not go to help he replied, "We feared the icebergs" (this was very convicting to me when applying this story to my life)

The Silversmith (Jesus refines us like silver) The Silversmith Some time ago, a few ladies met in a certain city to study the scriptures. While reading the third chapter of Malachi, they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse: "And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver [Malachi 3:3]" One lady proposed to visit a silversmith, and report to them on what he said about the subject. She went accordingly, and without telling the object of her errand, begged the silversmith to tell her about the process of refining silver. After he had fully described it to her, she asked, "But Sir, do you sit while the work of refining is going on?" "Oh, yes madam," replied the silversmith; "I must sit with my eyes steadily fixed on the furnace, for if the time necessary for refining be exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured." The lady at once saw the beauty, and comfort too, of the expression, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." God sees it needful to put His children into a furnace; His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not come at random, and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can endure. Before she left, the lady asked one final question, "When do you know the process is complete?" "Why, that is quite simple," replied the silversmith. "When I can see my own image in the silver, the refining process is finished." -- Author Unknown

I have decided to start choosing to take risks. Not necessarily like jumping out of airplanes but getting outside of my comfort zone, listening to Jesus even if it sounds crazy, and putting myself out there with people even if I fear they will reject me! (which, by the way, I feel takes more faith and courage than jumping out of a plane anyway!) I choose to live a risky life of loving my Savior and journeying with Him!