Kristy:

Bear with me through this...it is very random...

so lately things have been changing in my heart and in my life.

I am learning a lot and be reminded of even more.

I think I forgot (or forgot to apply) many things that God has taught me in my life.

today i was talking to a friend about her life and what God is doing and started to think about a time when God broke many bondages in my life and showed me what freedom is!

recently i have been thinking a lot about my relationship with Jesus and how it has changed (for the better and not so better). I kept thinking about what is different then when I was in college.
(besides being married and having a baby)

last wed we went to an event at BCF for the youth groups from this area. I saw a lot of students being goofy and working with the youth. While sitting in the pew thinking about this a question(s) popped into my head/heart...

What has happened to you?
Where is your goofiness?
Where is your passion?

I know that goofiness and passion don't seem to be 2 things that go together all the time but in this situation, they do! I got a little mad at myself. I've been holding back. I've been acting "how a mom should act", How a "youth pastor's wife" should act! That is so STUPID! I haven't been me because I keep playing parts. When I got married I was the "little wifey" now I was the "mother" that everyone thinks I should be. Holy crap! If I keep doing this I'm going to be miserable and not being who God created me to be!
I'm not saying I'm not going to keep being a mom, I will now and forever be one! Nor will I stop being a wife to Jesse Paul but now I will be Kristy Ottesen doing these things! I don't want to live up to anyone's standards I just want to enjoy doing this life!

anyway...this is a random post but I am sick of titles/expectations that we have to live up to, I just want to enjoy living! I mean isn't that what freedom is all about!