Jesse and Kristy: The Blog

Well I am sitting in my living room while our precious daughter takes a nap and waiting for photos to upload onto facebook so i figured it was perfect timing for a blog :)

so not much is happening in our lives right now...well at least from the outside not much is happening but God is doing a bunch of stuff!

At the moment we are praying about moving...NC! We are excited but just so unsure...You know when you know God wants you to do something but the when and where are not told to you yet, do you know how that feels? it feels like you have absolutely NO control! The only option in our life at the moment is FAITH! TRUST ME! That's what I know God is continuously telling our family...well at least ME! ME, the doubter...of course He would do this in our life! WE NEED IT! We desperately need it! I question all things until I know it for sure is real...then I question more. If you know me, the real me, at all you know how I analyze EVERYTHING to death!(that is a whole other problem)...anyway, I am excited that He has been doing this in our lives! I mean at one point we were unsure how we were going to pay for Raegan's formula and we checked the mail and there was a free container that enfamil sent us! I mean for real! I don't say that to say we are so poor we need help, I say that to glorify God! I mean He has ALWAYS provided for us! so what if we don't have the nicest house, we have an apt that fits us just fine! So what if our vehicles aren't new...they run!! (and when they don't God provides a way to fix it!) I feel like for so long I lived expecting to be blessed with the best of everything...I don't deserve that and whatever I do get IS a BLESSING!!!

Well I say all of this to say that God is so faithful! No matter what we have every needed he has provided! No matter where we are He gives us hope! I mean you don't feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you are broke and have no idea how you are going to pay your bills but somehow, someway, God ALWAYS provides!!!

Matthew 6:25-27 (Amplified Bible)

25Therefore I tell you, stop being [a]perpetually uneasy (anxious and worried) about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink; or about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life greater [in quality] than food, and the body [far above and more excellent] than clothing?

26Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they?

27And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the [b]span of his life?(A)

so I now am back to being able to get online and more importantly get involved with other people's lives!

I didn't realize how much facebook and blogs allowed me to stay connected with everyone. I for real cried seeing some of the stuff online on people's pages because I didn't know what was happening with people. i hate that! i need to make more of an effort with people! that is what I learned from this if nothing else...

Needless to say, I am thrilled to be back! I have missed all of my friends so much!

want to know how AMAZING God is?
Here's the story:
Last night I lost my wallet in Dothan...I think I left it on the top of my car (because I was hungry and all I kept thinking about was the frosted animal crackers I had just bought) and it flew off at some point between the Dollar Tree and Southeast Hospital...I went back after visiting the precious little girl, Rylan, and retraced my steps and couldn't find it anywhere...the lady in the store said I didn't leave it there...needless to say I thought I had lost my drivers license and Social security card :( I was pretty worried! I mean we already have bad credit I don't need anyone else helping me out with that, and now I just lost my stuff which means is some person got it could pretty much steal my identity!!!
After no luck finding it I decided to head to G-ville for dinner at Tampicos. On the way home I talked to Jesus about what had just happened and freaked out for a few minutes (crying was involved). Then I just calmed down, realized it was out of my control and I would have to deal with the consequences of my actions.
This morning I woke up and read a chapter in Ecc. One verse mentions how where a tree falls it will lie, which I took as meaning things happen and life goes on...you gotta get past it and keep truckin :) Encouraging!
An hour or so later I receive a call from Student Services @ BCF where my friend PJ works and I used to attend school. It was Mrs. Rosie who went on to ask me if I had lost my wallet in Dothan last night. I replied, YES!! She went on to tell me a story of how Mr. Parker from the college is preaching at a church in Dothan and a lady that goes to the church found my wallet and asked him about it and to see if he could find me. Then Mrs. Rosie had it and PJ had my number she called me and on top of that the lady works In Marianna across the street from Jesse!! HOW AWESOME IS JESUS?!?!!!
Oh the grace He has on me and my forgetfulness!

so i haven't written a blog in a while so here goes what is happening in my life...

lately the subject of Faith has been all in my life! It started with Jesus putting a stir in my heart about this and I wasn't exactly sure what was going on. Then my friend Lee said a quote from the book Crazy Love...He said

"What are you doing in your life that requires Faith?"

That is the question I have been pondering in my life the last few weeks...sadly, I have decided the answer is nothing/not much... I have also decided that I don't want it to stay that way!

(PS this whole time me and Jesse have also been praying about a pretty big decision in our lives that, either way, will require faith)

So this past weekend we took a few youth to a beach retreat. It was AMAZING!!!!! There was a whole message focused on not staying comfortable but taking risks!

Here are a few of the amazing quotes/stories that were mentioned that made my heart happy:

"If there is no risk, then there is no need for faith."

When James Calvert went out as a missionary to the cannibals of the Fiji Islands, the ship captain tried to turn him back. "You will lose your life and the lives of those with you if you go among such savages, he cried. To that, Calvert replied, "We died before we came here."

When the titanic had hit the iceberg there was a boat near there that heard the distress signal but did nothing. Later, when asked why he did not go to help he replied, "We feared the icebergs" (this was very convicting to me when applying this story to my life)

The Silversmith (Jesus refines us like silver) The Silversmith Some time ago, a few ladies met in a certain city to study the scriptures. While reading the third chapter of Malachi, they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse: "And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver [Malachi 3:3]" One lady proposed to visit a silversmith, and report to them on what he said about the subject. She went accordingly, and without telling the object of her errand, begged the silversmith to tell her about the process of refining silver. After he had fully described it to her, she asked, "But Sir, do you sit while the work of refining is going on?" "Oh, yes madam," replied the silversmith; "I must sit with my eyes steadily fixed on the furnace, for if the time necessary for refining be exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured." The lady at once saw the beauty, and comfort too, of the expression, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." God sees it needful to put His children into a furnace; His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not come at random, and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can endure. Before she left, the lady asked one final question, "When do you know the process is complete?" "Why, that is quite simple," replied the silversmith. "When I can see my own image in the silver, the refining process is finished." -- Author Unknown

I have decided to start choosing to take risks. Not necessarily like jumping out of airplanes but getting outside of my comfort zone, listening to Jesus even if it sounds crazy, and putting myself out there with people even if I fear they will reject me! (which, by the way, I feel takes more faith and courage than jumping out of a plane anyway!) I choose to live a risky life of loving my Savior and journeying with Him!

http://love146.org/love-story


Saw this on Lauren's facebook....i desire to help these people, I desire to make a change for these little girls! The things they have gone through no one should ever have to suffer esp. not someone so young, helpless, innocent...I pray that God gives them freedom in so many ways...that they find hope in Him...that he gets them out of this somehow...i pray that if I can do something about this, I WILL!! God give me the courage and strength to do so! Make my heart so heavy for these girls!

It was the first day of really nice weather in a while so Lauren, Rae boo, and I decided to have a picnic outside and take a nap...well Rae took a nap! It was so nice being outside and spending time with my soul friend! She makes my heart smile! oh how i will miss her when they move :(

So sometimes i think about the past...not in a "oh the things I would change" or a "how I wish I was back there" type of thing but a "I miss those people and being involved in their lives" sorta way! So I decided today that I would blog about it...the plan is to write down certain times in my life and certain people and if you see your name or remember something from that time feel free to post a memory or an update! I am so grateful for facebook for helping me keep up with people but some of it is surfacey (i know that's not right) and if you know me at all you know how strongly I dislike that now! I want to stress that I am so happy where I am in life and that God has changed me and molded me this is simply a post to tell those that have helped in the changing and shaping how much I truly miss their involvement and me being involved in their lives!

(this may be a long blog...)

High School and some from HCC:
People I miss so much: Amanda Coggins, JT, Jay Horak, Ashley Trimble, Ashley Murphy, Crystal Basford, Alan Lively (you will also be listed in the group crossroads), Britney
I miss hanging out with you guys and being goofy! I miss staying up late at amanda's online :)
I miss hanging out almost every weekend with you guys!
Crystal and Alan: late nights at my house! alan bringing us food from taco bell/pizza hut after work!
Ashley Murphy: walking at the park then swimming at your house, you understanding my heart and encouraging me!
Amanda: growing up together! Seeing you become an amazing mom!!
David Alan: you always making me laugh and always beign there for me!
Ashley Trimble: KWAB, beach trips, being best friends!
James Arlin Horak: eating after HCC, you skipping your class, becoming friends, you singing desporado!
Crystal: I miss your laugh and honesty!
Britney: the bus rides!! So funny!!
JT: remember accountability, meeting in the parking lot to spend time with Jesus in our own cars :) you are wonderful!!


Crossroads:
This group is really two different ones. Some are from when I was in youth group and the other is when I came back and hung out with tht youth

1) Mallory, Michael, Kim, Mike, Josh, Alan, Kristen, Sarah, Michelle, Mandy, Justin, Blake, Tara, Walt, Tori, Wesley, Jared

Mallory: going door to door with your dad and michael! the boyfriend...your bangs! :) spending the night at your house! sleeping in your mom's office then her waking me up to go sleep on her waterbed... eating choc muffins for breakfast...riding horses...birthday parties....my suprise party at other mamas

Kim: calling in request to the radio station, spending the night at your house, fake pillow fight at youth camp

Kristen: youth camp where someone laid a wet towel on your bed!, you being a fabulous singer

Justin and Mike: our group! do you remember what we called ourselves?

Walt!!! being my best friend for a while! talking on the phone while we watched animaniacs and pinky and the brain! rocky biting my butt because you made him think I was hurting you! walking around outside of the church talking about Tori...you playing a song i hated real loud when you were taking me to the daycare and the smell of dip, gross!! oh the things we have been through!

Alan: me writing you a note saying I wasn't going to be your friend and you making me be..j/k you didn't force me :) you working at GMC! eating at beefs, letting me drive your truck one time and putting it in neutral when I was trying to take off!!

2)Brandi (My Love), Kelli, Jesse, Ryan, Sam, TP, Amy Bamey, Jared (again)

Brandina: i miss your face and your laugh! I miss getting to see God teach you things and you apply them to your life! i remember the councling thing:) the fact God shows you His will for you! goofy dancing! youth camp! i just love you!

The girls bible study we did on love! Youth camp! Openness! Being Real!!

Jesse: your heart! your crazy dance, hanging out at daycare, you leading that boy to Jesus at camp, you telling me what God was telling you!! Your smile and easiness to be around!

Ryan: you preaching at church, your goofy laugh

Amy: math! your sweet heart!

Daycare: (aka my other family)
Kerrie, Lynette, Alicia, Elega, Richard, Mrs. Betty,

Birthday Lunches, Rick's cubans, who's getting lunch?, I bet richard didn't get us anything, Nipples the clown, PRECIOUS!, cute dad!, crazy dancing, KK....almost racist, our action figures!!, after thanksgiving christmas shopping, red lobster dinners! christmas programs, online during break time, el diablo,the beach!!!! (best week of the year!), trip to disney, putting my leg on kerrie while we were sleeping, ABC game!!, drama, talks on the playground, Kerrie telling that guys the ice is to keep the body fresh...richard playing drums at a restaurant

You people are some of my favorite people I will ever know! I miss you with my whole heart! (not kidding, as I am typing this tears are coming) We have been through a lot together, you guys took me in and loved me so much! I am forever grateful! You have shaped me into the person I am now! I love you all dearly and all for so many reasons!!

BCF:
This section will be a bit different...not many will be listed mainly because I am still in good contact with you! Also some may just be listed without memories simply because I am running out of time!

can marie! oh man, the Freedom in Christ thing we did! bascom, Key west, praying together all the time, breakups , you and Jayce falling in love, drama, children's ministry, beach trips, being best friends!, long nights, going walking, the boys house, gloria-you kicking her stuff, you telling me that i should date jesse:good call!!

Karl, Jayce, and Curt: your house, hanging out, doing homework together, suprise parties, watching movies, my doubts, your prayers, hanging out like everyday!

Michelle: acountability! lots of praying, deep friendship, picking out clothes, boys, you being so wonderful to me

Robbie:you caring and being a great friend, Dwayne and Dwayne, you being funny, St. Augustine trip: ghost tour

Natalie: you and karl, going to your house for easter, your family being amazing, you encouraging me, hanging out, your bling bling, you being such a lady

Beverly:proper nights! you and danny falling in love! talks in the hallway, walking around the block, the nathan times, movies

Amy: the bed breaking!! being my friend, comforting me, praying for/with me, my hello kitty room, nathan, WADE!! proper night

Megan: MOVIES, watching them together, the cough;), bowling, talks

Kelly Ann: watching movies, late night talks, you being amazing!, friends, no pants in your room

Ben: Friend time, being our brother, Romeo, weight watchers, racketball!!
My LOST friends!

Lauren dru: being my soul friend and many fun memories:) drive-in, best weekend ever, the plauge, game nights, poker nights, LOST, ben and michelle trying to scare us and Jesse and Lee saving us! me saying we should go to sleep:) getting healthy!!!trips to Jax, finding out who God made us!, learnign about love, tough convos, too many to write now:)

Jennifer, Sarah Mize, Brandon, Nathan and Jamie, Brackin Girls, Brittany and Boyd, Collett, Monika and Amelou, Lindsay, Ben wiggins, Al, Tyler/being spotaneous!!

Kristy:

So this weekend my wonderful husband bought me the camera i've been wanting since pretty much we got married! I have now decided to name her sheila! Not sure of the reason why just feels right. I don't know much about her yet. I am trying to learn more (pointers are welcome!) I just love her! So here are a few pics from the first day with Sheila...ps I wasn't feeling well so most of them were taken in our messy bedroom!

Kristy:

Caution: Very honest feelings and emotions ahead: Thinking things through so it might not all make sense:

I feel a lot like paul...

Romans 7:15-25 the message

What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.


so this is my heart...this is what i do...so many times...and to so many people...Not only with my Father but with my husband...my daughter...by friends...my family...

so often I have wonderful intentions but that's all they end up being...if the saying "it's the thought that counts" was 100% true then I would be amazing (sometimes)...

i don't know if it is laziness or fear that keeps me from just loving God and others how I really desire to...

my heart is broken over my selfishness and my fear of just jumping...i desire to love with no constraints...

myself gets in the way far too often...my thoughts of all the what ifs overcome my ability to love...

my heart and who i am in Christ doesn't get out enough! my stupid selfish flesh runs my life far too often...

i do not have to allow my flesh all these opportunities to take over and be stupid...

i know i need to choose to believe truth and choose to be joyful...yet, do i?

i will today!
I will have joy!
I will love freely!
I will obey!
I will listen to truth!
I will truly believe truth!
I will know that I am the Kings!
I know my Father is taking care of me and loves me more than anything!
I know i can be a great wife and mother as long as I am allowing the Holy Spirit to live through me!
i choose to believe all of this even when I turn off this computer and things are silent!
i choose to believe You over what my self says as I compare myself to others...
I choose TRUTH!!!

So I was reading the Love Letter, as called by my dear friend Kelly Ann, and me being not all knowing starting wondering what the word reconcile and reconciled and reconciliation really mean...so i went to dictionary.com and looked it up... these are the verses i read in the NIV version....

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Now this is it with the definition put in....

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW CREATION; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reestablished a close relationship between us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reestablishing a close relationship between(us and God): that God was reestablishing a close relationship between the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reestablishing a close relationship between( God and man). We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reestablished a close relationship between God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Kinda weird to read but the heart of it is AMAZING!! To know that it is really all about relationships! I love it!! To know that is what God wants is a relationship with us! Not just any relationship, but a CLOSE one!!!! Thank you God for loving us this much!!!!

kristy...
warning: this is me venting...


so for some reason the past few days i have felt blah...i know it isn't all about feelings but i hate when i feel so stagnant...i hate not feeling motivated or wanting to even get out of bed...i've been sleeping late and when i'm awake i don't want to do much besides spend time with rae...i've been joyful (well happy)...i've had good times with family and friends...i've laughed and smiled and life has been good but still no motivation with God...no passion...how do things change so quickly..just last week i was so ready for life with Jesus and this week i'm struggling to even spend time with Him...what is my deal...anyway, i just needed to get that out of my system...This will change...I choose to spend time with Jesus despite my feelings! I choose to believe truth over lies...i choose to get motivated and to spend time with the One who will motivate me!

..and this to shall pass...

kristy:

while Rae is sleeping I wanted to jot down something I was thinking about earlier...

i was half watching the Bonnie show today while playing with rae and heard somethings that caught my attention...

there was a lady on there talking about divorce and marriage...they were saying things that I have realized about life and that I feel like most Christians realize about life at some point...but the difference in what this lady was saying was that she, nor anyone else talking, had any hope that marriages could succeed...if they lasted they couldn't be happy, it would only be out of a feeling of obligation that people are together because if it's love than it won't last. She said things about how marriages in the past have lasted because of the community and how they stay together for the sake of others. there is a responsibility. She said something about being ok with falling out of love.

Then it hit me! The thing that these people are missing, the thing that could keep their marriages together through all the crap in the world, is God! That's why you can't figure out how to make it work. That's why one always ends up leaving or giving up, they don't know how to take it to God. They don't know that they need to be finding their worth in Him not their spouse! They don't get the truth so they of course have no HOPE!

Praise God that I know Him and have hope that when things are tough, God is there to get us through and when I am full of irrational emotions, I can rely on His truth!

Kristy:

Bear with me through this...it is very random...

so lately things have been changing in my heart and in my life.

I am learning a lot and be reminded of even more.

I think I forgot (or forgot to apply) many things that God has taught me in my life.

today i was talking to a friend about her life and what God is doing and started to think about a time when God broke many bondages in my life and showed me what freedom is!

recently i have been thinking a lot about my relationship with Jesus and how it has changed (for the better and not so better). I kept thinking about what is different then when I was in college.
(besides being married and having a baby)

last wed we went to an event at BCF for the youth groups from this area. I saw a lot of students being goofy and working with the youth. While sitting in the pew thinking about this a question(s) popped into my head/heart...

What has happened to you?
Where is your goofiness?
Where is your passion?

I know that goofiness and passion don't seem to be 2 things that go together all the time but in this situation, they do! I got a little mad at myself. I've been holding back. I've been acting "how a mom should act", How a "youth pastor's wife" should act! That is so STUPID! I haven't been me because I keep playing parts. When I got married I was the "little wifey" now I was the "mother" that everyone thinks I should be. Holy crap! If I keep doing this I'm going to be miserable and not being who God created me to be!
I'm not saying I'm not going to keep being a mom, I will now and forever be one! Nor will I stop being a wife to Jesse Paul but now I will be Kristy Ottesen doing these things! I don't want to live up to anyone's standards I just want to enjoy doing this life!

anyway...this is a random post but I am sick of titles/expectations that we have to live up to, I just want to enjoy living! I mean isn't that what freedom is all about!

Kristy:
so we now have a blog. i have wanted one for a long time and I decided on this lazy day to start one!
I have missed this since college when I used to have one on a different site(can't remember the name)
I love reading about what God is doing in people's lives and sharing what is happening in my/ours!

Also, I know that the name of this blog is Jesse and Kristy but it will also include stories about Raegan Louise and Lucianna Louise(our toy poodle)!

another thing is that Jesse will prob post things also, that is why my name is at the top, so that you will know who is talking. Jesse's post will most likely either be funny or contriversial...that's how he rolls :)

also, if any one has any tips to how to do this, I will take what I can get!

well i will end now with the intro but will prob post again soon! I AM SO EXCITED!!!