Jesse and Kristy: The Blog

let me start by saying this blog will be personal so please be aware of that fact :)
Lately...well for a while I have been "struggling" with being complacent/lazy with Jesus...I have decided to just allow whatever God wants to do in my life to randomly happen...with me not seeking Him out or putting forth effort...I feel like I sit and wait for God to completely change me and to send people in my life to help with that process yet I sit in my complacency and do nothing...I don't try to go make friends/build relationships, I don't try to reach out and love on the people that I am blessed enough to be surrounded by, i don't call and check on those that I know are hurting (sure, I think about them but nothing further), I do nothing for God's glory yet i sit and ask Him why He isn't speaking? Why I feel far from Him? I am sure He is saying things and I am so self absorbed to realize that...
This brings me to my next point...
i hate that my sin/rebellion doesn't only hurt me and my relationship with Jesus but it effects the people around me....those i am short with, those i don't show mercy to, those i judge, those that see my temper and hear my negative words, those that mimic me and are mimicing a woman i didn't think i could ever be again after meeting Jesus, I hate that my sin of laziness effects Jesse, Rae, Kennedy, and all the people I have a relationship with...even people at Walmart or any other store I walk into...
When we moved to NC I had such hope for what God could do and such faith that He would do it, then I started focusing on me...on what others thought...on my needs/wants/desires...stupid stuff like that! I know God has so much more for me...I know He wants me to have Joy and Hope...I know He is my God and He is good! He always hears my cry and I know he hears the recent cries of my heart! I know He loves me and will never leave me nor forsake me YET I have allowed myself to get so caught up in myself that I couldn't see the Truth...
Today I have decidded to choose Truth, to choose to get up and be involved in life again...to die to self...to come back to my Dad who loves me so much :)

kristy:

while Rae is sleeping I wanted to jot down something I was thinking about earlier...

i was half watching the Bonnie show today while playing with rae and heard somethings that caught my attention...

there was a lady on there talking about divorce and marriage...they were saying things that I have realized about life and that I feel like most Christians realize about life at some point...but the difference in what this lady was saying was that she, nor anyone else talking, had any hope that marriages could succeed...if they lasted they couldn't be happy, it would only be out of a feeling of obligation that people are together because if it's love than it won't last. She said things about how marriages in the past have lasted because of the community and how they stay together for the sake of others. there is a responsibility. She said something about being ok with falling out of love.

Then it hit me! The thing that these people are missing, the thing that could keep their marriages together through all the crap in the world, is God! That's why you can't figure out how to make it work. That's why one always ends up leaving or giving up, they don't know how to take it to God. They don't know that they need to be finding their worth in Him not their spouse! They don't get the truth so they of course have no HOPE!

Praise God that I know Him and have hope that when things are tough, God is there to get us through and when I am full of irrational emotions, I can rely on His truth!